She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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