Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Shame - the story of my life.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize