Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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