even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I smell like Dick and happiness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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