so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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