im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize