I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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