I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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