Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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