I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize