carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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