Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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