On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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