I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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