remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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