I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Do you have feelings for this penis?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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