I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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