maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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