The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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