woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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