If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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