Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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