she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize