i wish there were pregnant emoticons
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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