You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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