Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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