What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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