so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize