so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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