I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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