Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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