Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize