Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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