She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
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The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
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He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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