mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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