I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
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I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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