Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
handjob tips. give me some.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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