I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize