How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Jerry, you need to find god
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just blew my weed a kiss
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize