Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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