Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize