last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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