I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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