Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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