The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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