Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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