hell yes lets make some ravioli
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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