$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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