dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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