Do you still have your period?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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