he wants to bone in the snuggie
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
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